It's About Love

One of the requirements to be able to adopt through LDS Family Services is to get these education credits. You used to have to attend I think three or four 2 hour classes, I guess on parenting. Well now, twice a year they have conferences for the organization Families Supporting Adoption, and you get your credits by attending. It was about six hours long this past Saturday. We weren’t super excited about it because of how long it was going to be, and we didn’t really know what it was going to be like. But I really did enjoy it and am glad we went. They had two couples speak who have adopted all their children. They also had two adoptive moms speak. One was adopted herself and has adopted two sons. It was interesting to hear her feelings about her parents, her birth parents, her children, and their birth moms. What I gained most from her was that her mom, from the time she was young, told her their “family story”, telling her about how she came into their family. She said she has carried this on with her sons, telling them their family story from when they are a week old. I think this is a great way to let your children know they are adopted, even before they can understand what it means. The other adoptive mom has three half black/half white kids and two Chinese kids and it was super interesting learning what a multiracial family is like. But I think what I gained most from was the panel of birth mothers that were there. Three birth moms and one birth grandmother were there (we wished there were some birth dads as well) and they shared with us their experiences. All three of them placed there babies 2.5-3 years ago. It helped me to understand much better what the experience is like for them. One of my sisters got pregnant while we were in high school, so I already had a pretty good idea of the struggles that an unwed mother faces. But my sister kept my nephew (which I am very happy about – I can’t imagine my family without him), so I haven’t known anyone close to me that was a birth mom. I was crying pretty hard as they told their stories, as my heart broke for them. I am amazed by how selfless they are, and inspired by them. And I loved hearing about their different relationships with their babies. Ryan and I have been unsure how open we would want our adoption to be, but after meeting these girls I feel totally comfortable with an open adoption. Another interesting thing at the conference was there was a birth mom, an adoptive mom, and their son there. The two women sang together, and the three of them sat at our table for lunch. It was intriguing watching the three of them interact. The love between the two women was very obvious. And watching the birth mom interact with the son was like an aunt or older sister with a nephew or brother. I’m grateful I was able to experience that. I was grateful to see and feel how much love surrounds the entire adoption process and experience.