Abby's First Thanksgiving

This was our year to spend Thanksgiving with Ryan's family - so we did. I did my baking and cooking a day or two before so that I'd be free to play with Ryan, Abby, and Penny on the day of. Once we got ready that morning we went to Ryan's parent's house to drop off the food and then went on a hike around the lake. We went to an area we'd never been before and it was great. You are hiking along and all of a sudden you are in the middle of a bamboo forest. It was a complete surprise and really fun. Then we ended up on the beach. Penny had a lot of fun playing in the water, and despite the fact that it made her filthy, it was a lot of fun to watch her. After we were done hiking we went back to Ryan's parent's to spend the rest of the day. We ate a lot - first appetizers, then dinner. My friend Hannah joined us and so did one of Heather's friends and her son. The food was all really good, and so was the company. It was a great day - and we have had oh so much to be thankful for this year (and every year really - but this year I am especially grateful for my sweet Abby.)

Ryan also had Friday off work. I have a sister who is in Houston for the next 3 years. Her husband is serving as the mission president there so they can't really leave the area. So we decided to go visit them and their 7 kids. On the way down we stopped at the Blue Bell Creamery. We are big fans of Blue Bell ice cream. We had checked before we went to make sure they were open. The store was, the factory tour was not. We were disappointed with that, but we still went to the store, tasted lots of ice cream, bought a few scoops, and watched a video all about the tour. And we took fun pictures of the cutest girl in the world.

While we were in Houston we went with my sister and her family to Brazos Bend State Park. It was a lot of fun. It has lots of trails and swamps with alligators, big fields and picnic areas. They even had baby alligators in a tank. Had Abby been awake when we saw the baby out of the tank she could have touched it, but she wasn't. Oh well. Mindy's kids loved playing with Abby, and she loved them. It was a fun little trip for us.

Abby's First Halloween

We spent several days celebrating Halloween with Abby. We had to wait so long to have a kid and have been so excited to get to celebrate holidays with her. She loved 4th of July because she loves lights and so loved the fireworks. We went to see fire works on 3 occasions and she was completely enthralled the whole time. (Penny, our dog, was a different story. She HATES fireworks.) I am not sure how Abby will feel about fireworks next year, but this year it was so much fun to watch her watch them. I love Halloween - I just think it is fun. I like decorating for it, I like seeing the kids, and I loved trick-or-treating, though I haven't gone in years. Since Abby is so little we didn't really do a whole lot of trick-or-treating this year. We just went to her biological grandparents and a few neighbors. Ryan's parents and sister came over and stayed at our house to great the kids while we were out and so Abby could trick-or-treat to them as well. Because Abby is so cute we also did a few Halloween photo shoots. Enjoy!

Almost every time we are out someone comments not only on how cute Abby is, but also on how cute her clothes are. We have bought her a 3-pack of onsies, 2 nighties, and a dress the day we found out that we'd get to be her parents, and one dress since then. Everything else she has is either gifts from showers or hand-me-downs (mostly from my sister - these clothes make up about 60-75% of her wardrobe). This cute little outfit is one of those hand me downs. The bracelets/anklets she is wearing were made by another of my sisters. And the socks were given to her by Ryan's mom. So adorable!

My friend is a photographer and wanted to get some fall kid pictures to put on her website. She let me be in some with my beautiful baby. Check her site out here.

Abby received a Halloween package from my mom - she got teething keys and some squeezable food. She was excited - she loved the envelope too!

I made a Halloween themed dinner including baked brains (meatloaf), ghosts (mashed potatoes), goblin boogers (peas), witches fingers (shaped biscuits with almond slices for nails), and coagulated blood (tomato soup). It was quite tasty and fun.

Isn't she the cutest little butterfly in the world. The costume was another hand-me-down from my sister.

And Abby's first house to trick-or treat. She did a good job holding on to her bucket. Cathy, her biological grandma, gave her a cute sock monkey that plays peek-a-boo and then laughs so cutely. She loved it!

I think Abby enjoyed her first Halloween. I know I did.

Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana

I've mentioned before that Ryan and I have a goal to get to all 50 states. We each have less than 10 states left to reach our goal. And several of the overlap. I don't know if we will get to all 50 states with each of our kids, but we will keep track of which states they go to in case they have the same goal. We were wanting to go on another trip. Ryan and I had thought we would fly up to the northeast to see the fall colors and catch some states we needed (I needed Rhode Island, Maine, North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Kentucky, Alabama, and Mississippi and Ryan needed Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Delaware, North Dakota, South Dakota, Kentucky, and Mississippi.) Well, that trip didn't work out, and we weren't really ready to take Abby on a plane yet, so we decided to road trip it and get to some of our states. We both needed Kentucky and Mississippi and I could get to Alabama. And that is what we did.
We set off on a Sunday morning after church and drove to the Arkansas/Tennessee border and spent the night. We've been to Tennessee, but really only within the Smokey Mountains, so we wanted to do a little more there. We spent the next day in Memphis. We knew we wanted to go to the National Civil Rights Museum, so that is what we did first. It is housed in the Lorraine Hotel - that is where Martin Luther King Jr. was staying when he was assassinated. The whole museum was quite interesting, more so than I would have expected. I guess what I enjoyed most about it was how it put together the timeline for me - how you could see parallel things happening not only with the civil rights movement but also in the nation and world in general. It also made me more aware of how long it took for the changes to occur. And how many people were involved in the changes and there relationships to each other. I also learned a lot more about MLK. They have a pretty good video about him and the civil rights movement that you can watch. You also get to see the room he stayed in, which was interesting. There is also a museum across the street where the assassin stood and you can see his view from there. In that museum they tell about the history of the assassination conspiracy and why they can't be totally confident in who actually shot him and who all was involved. We enjoyed it (although Ryan always wants to move through museums much more quickly than I do :) ).

In the upper left corner you can see the view MLK had just before he was shot. Moving clockwise, just in front of the hotel/museum, the room MLK stayed in, the view of the hotel from the building across the street where the assassin shot, and again, just in front of the hotel.

When we finished at the museum we still had half a day left. We considered the various things Memphis has to offer and decided to go to Graceland (when in Rome... right?) Graceland is Elvis Presley's home. It is pretty expensive but we got half-price tickets. Having been there I would not pay full price for it but I think it was worth half-price.

Growing up my best-friend Wendi Burnson and I played with Barbies a lot. She had one that looked like Elvis and she also had a lot of Elvis tapes and an Elvis poster. Elvis was part of my growing up years so it was fun for me to be at his house and learn more about him. And I have to say, having been there, I like him even more. He was extravagant, but not nearly so much as he could have been. I loved the relationships he had with his family and friends.

His house

His wardrobe and records

His cars

After we were done at Graceland we had some Memphis BBQ (it was good - they have "dry" barbecue and I like it.) Then we drove on to our next stop. (We embarked on this trip without any hotel reservations. We didn't know for sure where we would want to go or how long we would want to stay so we just took it one day at a time.) Our next stop turned out to be Cave City, Kentucky. It is the closest real town to Mammoth Caves. We got there pretty late (around 11) and went straight to bed. Unfortunately none of us got much sleep that night. Abby is the lightest sleeper in the world and is not good at sharing a room. Rolling over in bed was enough to wake her up, and she refused to go back to sleep. I think all together we got about 4 hours of sleep that night :(.

Well, once it was a reasonable hour to be up we got ready and headed to Mammoth Caves National Park. We started off with a cave tour. There were several tours to choose from. Until last year we hadn't been in any commercial caves. Then in less than a year we ended up going to 3 (Natural Bridge Caverns in Texas, ATM in Belize, and Mt. Timpanogas Cave in Utah). (A similar thing happened to us with swamps a few years ago - we'd never been to one and then in less than a year 4 - New Orleans, Magnolia Plantation and Congaree National Park in South Carolina, and Biscayne National Park in Florida. We hadn't planned on so many swamps or so many caves in such a short time, it just happened.) We really enjoyed all the caves we'd been in and seeing the formations but we wanted a tour that would show us why it was a national park (e.g. what made it unique). I think it may have been the Historic Tour that we went on, but it was great. There were some cool formations to see, but mostly you just saw the vastness of the cave - and it was vast. Several of my house could fit into some of the rooms easily. They were large in floor space and in height. It is hard to imagine it or describe it,but it is amazing that there are such huge open spaces below ground. But there were also some tight spaces to get through. One fun one is called "Fat Mans Misery". You can see it in the picture below.

In the upper left you can see one of the huge rooms. (The tour wasn't very well lit so none of the pictures turned out great.) In the upper right you can see mining remains. In the lower right you can see the height, hundreds of feet. In the bottom center is coming out of the cave. Bottom left is "Fat Mans Misery". The others are just my handsome husband and adorable baby :).

Abby was ready for a break from the carrier and we were all hungry when we got out so we had a little picnic. It is free to go to the park and they actually have really large grounds with lots of hiking trails. You only have to pay to go on tours. The park grounds were great and they had this really nice picnic area. It was quite big with lots of tables and everything and somehow we had it all to ourselves.

 I fed Abby and then we played for a while. Ryan and Abby enjoyed trying to catch falling leaves.

After our picnic we decided to hike for a while. We saw some deer and some sink holes and enjoyed the fall colors. Abby also got a little nap in.

There are deer in several of the pictures

We ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant next door to our hotel then headed back to our room to let Abby play for a few minutes then to bed. 

The next morning we checked out then headed for our next adventure - Abraham Lincoln Birthplace National Historic Park. It is also a free national park, but there isn't a whole lot there. They have a pretty nice museum all about him and then this memorial to him. Inside the memorial is a log cabin. The cabin was pieced back together and they originally thought it was Lincoln's first home, but later found that it was a cabin nearby his home, but not his actual one. They don't have his. But I would bet his is pretty similar. The grounds here are also fairly big with trails, and we did a little walking around before heading to Lincoln's childhood home. Again, not a lot to see, but interesting.

There's something significant about the steps leading up to the memorial - I think one for each year of his life.

After the childhood home we headed to Lexington. We had wanted to spend the rest of our day either at Shakertown or the Horse Park but didn't have time to really see either before closing. So instead we went to Ashland - Henry Clay's Estate. It was a AAA gem. When we go on trips (at least state-side ones) we always order AAA tour books before we leave. They help us decide where to go and what to do. While on our vacations most of the places we go to are AAA gems, National Parks, capitol buildings, or temples. Ashland was a gem. It was an example of AAA failing us. Not that our whole experience there was terrible. The grounds are fantastic, especially in the fall. Tons of people came to take pictures of their kids there because it is so pretty and vast. But you can be no the grounds for free. If you are ever in Lexington I do recommend taking a picnic lunch there and a camera - at least in the fall. However, I do not recommend the estate tour. It only covers the house and I think it is over priced. Maybe if you are super into history or architecture or old homes in general it would be worth it. I did learn about Henry Clay (I previously probably couldn't have even told you one thing about him) and the house was pretty. What we saw of it. Half way through the brief tour Abby started crying - and they kicked us out. She wasn't crying loud, just fussy, but they didn't want her disrupting the other 3 people on the tour. And they only gave us 1/2 our money back because we were 1/2 way through the tour. So maybe I am just bitter. Anyway - the grounds are lovely and we enjoyed them.

Most beautiful girl in the world with her super handsome dad

The house

We then went to find a place to stay for the night, and we did. After checking in we decided to get some KFC and have a picnic. I haven't had KFC in years but found that other people must also have the same bright idea to eat it in Kentucky because they charge a premium there. There weren't any nearby parks so we ended up eating on some grass near our hotel - but it was still a good picnic.

That room was awesome because the bathroom was big enough to fit Abby port-a-crib, and we finally all got a full nights sleep. The next morning I put Abby down for a nap as I got ready to go. I had just laid her down and then started blow drying my hair and found that she fell asleep right away, so I left it on until she woke up and she slept over an hour. Brilliant!!! Finding this out helped us sleep through each of the remaining nights of our trip. Even when we had rooms with bathrooms that couldn't fit Abby's bed we would just leave the dryer running all night. This may have been a fire hazard and a tremendous use of electricity, but it was worth it - sleep made things so much nicer!

We checked out of our hotel and went to the Kentucky Horse Park. When we were planning our trip to Kentucky we were torn between going to Louisville and Churchill Down (a famous racetrack where the Kentucky Derby is held) or Lexington and the Horse Park. I'm glad we chose the horse park. It is a whole day activity - one that we really enjoyed. You can get up close and personal with the horses, it is beautiful, and they have lots to do. They have great museums about all breads of horses. They have a great show where they bring out 5 different breads with riders dressed in the traditional costume of the people who originally bred and developed the horses. They have a show where they bring out retired race horses. They have huge pastures. They have a horse shoeing place. They have mechanical horses you can ride. They have large barns filled with horses and a large collections of carriages and other horse drawn vehicles. They have everything horse related you can think of. It was great - we all loved it and I definitely think it deserved its AAA gem rating.

Abby getting all excited as she watched the Horses of the World show

Some of the horses from the 2 Horses of the World shows we watched.

After the shows you can meet and pet the horses

We rode the mechanical bucking broncos and Abby made friends with a horse her size

Famous horses including Cigar and Funny Cide (as well as Da Hoss, Go for Gin, and Mr. Muscleman). These are horses that have made millions of dollars.

Meeting Cigar and Funny Cide

Pretty leaves

Abby gets to ride too

Once we were done with the park we started driving south again until we stayed for the night just north of Nashville. We considered doing some things in Nashville the next morning but Abby fell asleep before we got there, and since she was so short naps since we'd been traveling we just kept on going into Alabama. Ryan lived in Birmingham before he moved to Texas, but I don't think he'd been back there since. Since that time they have built a temple there. 

It wasn't open when we went by so we couldn't even walk on the grounds, but we did get some pictures.

Our next stop was the Sloss Furnace National Historic Landmark. They produced iron there for about 90 years, now it is just interesting to walk around. They have a self guided tour allowing you to learn about how iron was produced and what all the different things were used for. What made it extra interesting is that at Halloween they also make the grounds into a haunted house - so as we were walking through we could see all these "dead people" and other scary stuff. The setting was perfect for a haunted house and if we'd not had Abby with us I would have been tempted to stick around and go to it at night.

Our next stop was Vulcan Park - another AAA gem. The park itself offers a view of Birmingham, but I wouldn't say it was a gem. You can go up to the top of the Vulcan tower - but you have to pay for it and I don't think it would be worth it. There is also a museum about the iron production in the area - so maybe that is gem worthy. But we didn't go in there.

We stopped by Ryan's old house and elementary school to see what they look like now.

You can't tell from this picture but his school (upper right) is set against a hill and has these huge, beautiful grounds.

Our final adventure for the day was Oak Mountain State Park. Ryan's family apparently went there when he was a kid, but he didn't remember it. It was quite pretty and they have this cool trail with cages of birds along it. 

We spent the night in Mississippi. We stopped in Jackson and went to the Old Capitol Building. It is a free gem, and I did really enjoy it. It's a museum about the history of Jackson, Mississippi, and the city itself. I guess we didn't really take pictures there, but I think it is worth the stop if you are in the area. Then we headed on to Vicksburg National Military Park. The Battle of Vicksburg took place here, which was key to the North winning the civil war. There are monuments to each state who fought in the war and you drive around listening to a cd that tells you about the battle. It was pretty interesting - and Abby got to sit on a cannon, so that was exciting.

We headed on to Louisiana - Abby's 11th state in her 7 months of life. We have friends that recently moved to Monroe so we visited them. First we went to the Bayou, which was quite pretty. I am not sure what the difference between an bayou and swamp are, but I liked it.

Abby looking cute at the bayou

Abby and Jamison. Our friends, Brett and Candace Frandsen, adopted their two sons (Sawyer and Jamison). Candace was the first person outside my family that we told about Abby because I needed to find out some stuff from her. She has been a huge help to me (and a lot of other adoptive parents.) I think Jamison is super cute, one of few babies that even compares to Abby in cuteness. I would not be upset if they get married some day.

More of the bayou. 

Candace took more pictures of us there as well as pics of Abby and Jamison at there house, but I haven't gotten those pictures yet. I'll add them when I do. I should have gotten some pics with Candace and of her family, but I didn't. That was dumb. Oh well, we'll just have to visit them again. After the bayou we went to dinner then back to their house. After letting the kids play a while we put them to bed then played some games. It was great. 

Early the next morning we headed back for Texas - stopping in Grapevine to go to church and pick up Penny. Then home to Burleson and our adventurous lives.

Our first family trip post-Abby

Although a lot of our family came to visit after we brought Abby home from the hospital, and we had several showers to celebrate her arrival here in Texas we had more family for her to meet and more showers to celebrate with in the west. When I was first trying to pan out in my mind this trip I thought it would just be Abby and me flying there. Ryan had been so busy at work. Before we brought Abby home, before we even knew about her, he had been bringing work home in the evening and on the weekends and still was struggling to meet the demands placed on him. Since we didn't have any time to prepare for Abby he wasn't able to schedule time at work to take off and they had loaded him up with projects. We brought her home on a Saturday. The following week he took a few hours off work on Wednesday to come to her doctors appointment, and again two weeks after for another appointment. But he really hadn't been able to spend a whole lot of time with her. Beyond just being busy at work another reason for this was because when we had learned about Abby and knew we would be bringing her home he had told his boss about her and mentioned that he would be taking some time off and his boss seemed shocked he would even consider it. Anyway, after having Abby home a month Ryan still hadn't gotten a whole lot of time with her and really needed more than just evenings (not Abby's best time) and weekends. Additionally, Penny, our dog, really needed her teeth cleaned. It is crazy expensive to get your dogs teeth cleaned around here. My brother-in-law is a vet in Cedar City (Utah) and their clinic cleans teeth for 1/4 the cost. Finally, neither of us had been to Northern Utah in several years and had people we wanted to visit there. So we made a road trip out of it. Here is how it went:

Saturday May 26th (Abby's 2 month birthday) we headed down to Austin. My niece, Michealanne, has been a runner for BYU since the fall of 2009 and she finally had a meet near us. She ran in the regional track meet in Austin so we went down there to watch her race. Unfortunately, it being our first experience traveling with a baby, we left the house several hours later than we had anticipated so we didn't get to do anything with Mike or her parents before the race. We did get to stop by a restaurant Ryan had heard about, , and also visit my cousin Sasha and his family before heading to the race. I had been to several of Mike's high school meets but it was really fun to watch her race at the collegiate level. She is quite impressive. For some reason I didn't take any pictures while at the race or any time in Austin - stupid.

Sunday morning we headed west and after several hours of driving Abby got to check 2 more states of her list (New Mexico and Arizona - since Ryan and I have a goal to make it to all 50 states we will keep a map for Abby of each state she has been to so if she has the same goal she will know for certain which ones she has been to) and we made it to Tucson, AZ where we stayed the night.

The next morning Monday) on our hotel bed Abby rolled over for the first time. It was a little slanty on that mattress so we don't count it as her official first roll over, but still, not bad for a 2 month old! After checking out of our hotel we went to Saguaro National Park. For a few years Ryan and I have wanted to get a National Parks Passport but had decided to wait to have kids so they could be the ones collecting stamps. So we were excited to get Abby a passport and her first stamp. We then drove around the park with a few stops for pictures. It is quite a fascinating park. Although in honesty I have to say I prefer greenery, I do love the desert and find it quite beautiful. Maybe that comes form growing up in Las Vegas. After leaving the park we made it as quickly as we could to Las Vegas where some of my family was waiting at my parent's house to great us and meet Miss Abby.

 

We spent the next few days mostly just hanging out at the house, letting my family get their fill of Abby, and helping get ready for our Las Vegas baby shower. We also went swimming a few time, Abby loved it! Penny, unfortunately, didn't love it as much - she prefers mud puddles to swimming pools.

Water baby, just like her mama

Penny also got to meet her cousins

The baby shower was Thursday night, and it was amazing. My sister Emily is an interior designer and super creative and great homemaker. She did the shower. The decorations were amazing, the food was the kind that you wish you had a never ending stomach so that you can continue eating it until you die, and my parents house was filled to capacity with my long-time friends and family in Las Vegas (my favorite high school teacher even came!) I felt so loved! And I loved showing off Abby to everyone. I didn't take any pictures that night. Two of my sisters did but they haven't given them to me yet (hopefully soon, hint, hint.) You can see pictures of the food and decorations on my sister's blog here).

The next day we headed up to Northern Utah. It had been several years since we were last there, so it was exciting. We stopped in Cedar City on the way and dropped off our dog Penny to stay with Jenny and her family. We stopped again in Provo to get some dinner. We couldn't believe how much traffic there was, way more than when we had been in school. But we got some Cafe Rio and were feeling good. Then we drove up to Salt Lake to my mission president's home to visit with him and his wife.  We only got to be there an hour or two - Abby was being a pill and it was late - but it was really good to see them. Then we drove to Midway to my best-friend Wendy's house, where we stayed a few nights.

Saturday morning we had another shower - Wendy and my other good friend Aubrey gave us a shower there. It was a brunch picnic and really fun. Ryan ended up staying for the whole thing because a lot of his extended family came and it was good for him to get to visit with them. My sister Mindy and her daughter Ellie were also there and got to meet Abby. I had mission friends, Las Vegas friends, and BYU friends there, so it was a lot of fun. I'm still waiting on pictures from that shower too, and will update when I get more, but I wrote about both showers and posted what pictures I have from them here.

After the shower  we went over to Mindy's house so the rest of her kids could see Abby, then we headed down to BYU so we could walk around campus and see all the changes. Then we met up with Ryan's old roommates and friends for dinner and to just hang out for the evening, which was great.

Sunday we were lazy. We went to church with Wendy and her family then just laid around her house until the evening. We drove down to Spanish Fork to visit with a family Ryan baptized as a missionary, and that was neat. The wife told Ryan as we were leaving that he should never worry that his mission was a waste because is saved her and she would do all she could to remain active and make sure her family did too. After that we went back to Mindy's to visit with them for a few hours before heading back to Wendy's.

Monday morning after we got packed up and said bye to Wendy we drove to Mt. Timpanogas, hiked up to the cave, did the tour, and back down. That was Abby's first significant hike and first cave. She slept through most of it. It was great though, we really enjoyed it. After that we went to Mindy's and spent the rest of the day there. (My mom had gotten there the day before so it was nice to get to spend some more time with her as well.) We spent the night there also.

 

Tuesday we headed to the cabin. Before heading up we went to Cedar City to pick up Penny. It was so great to be there - I just love the cabin and so does Ryan. Penny LOVED it, and Abby did too. Penny pretty much asked us to move there permanently. If only there were jobs there. The day we got there we went on a short hike down to the Spring and then just had dinner before bed. Pretty much every day we were there we went on a couple hikes. We had considered driving to some places to do some longer hikes but decided that we didn't want to drive anywhere. So for 4 days we didn't drive at all. It was fantastic. But we hiked to places I'd never been just around the cabin. We happened upon a disc golf course on the mountain across from the cabin, so we played with that some. We swung some, and we sat on the porch and fed chipmunks. Jenny and her 4 boys and dog spent a few days there with us, and that was fun. The 3 older boys loved joining us on our hikes. It was so nice and relaxing there, and it was hard to leave. But we had to, so we did. We made the long drive back to Texas, back to reality. And that was it, Abby' first vacation.

 

 

Abby's Story - Part 17: Becoming an Eternal Family

The weekend of October 12-14th was a huge one for our family. We finalized the adoption, had Abby sealed to us, and she was blessed. All my family but Mindy came (Mindy would have loved to but couldn't get away from her mission in Houston). My parents and Jenny and Maggi stayed with us – the rest got hotels but came over each day. I spent 2 weeks getting ready for everyone. Our house has never been so clean.

Back in April when we found out about Abby I stopped being able to sleep through the night for the week before we brought Abby home. I was just too excited. That happened to me again leading up to this big weekend. Starting Tuesday I would wake up around 3:00 and not be able to go back to sleep because I was just too excited.

Friday morning Abby and I pretty much just followed our regular routine. When she got up the first time I fed her and then put her back to bed. I slept as well until she woke up again. We took Penny for a walk and by the time we got back my parents were getting up. I fed Abby and my mom and I gave her a bath, then she took another nap. She was sleeping so well I was getting worried I’d have to wake her up to get to court on time, but she woke up about a minute before we had to leave. I put on her dress – it was white lace with a baby blue ribbon around the waist – she looked so cute! We picked Emily up from her hotel (Mark was working) and then headed to the family law center in downtown Fort Worth. Emily had brought with her a little locket and baby ring that my sisters and I had all worn when we were little, so that was fun. 

Ryan, his parents, and Heather were already there. We put on Abby’s ring and necklace as well as a bracelet that matched mine (Emily had given them to us as a shower gift) and a white headband with a flower on it. Abby was ready to go. We had been told to meet our lawyer on the 4^th floor to go over paperwork, so once we got through security that is where we went. I had in my mind the idea that it would just be us and our lawyer, and then after going over all the paperwork we would go to a large area where all the other families waiting to finalize would also be. The judge for our district only does group adoptions, meaning that all the families wanting to finalize that month go to court at the same time – there is only one day out of the month that this happens. That is the reason we were able to finalize 2 days before the actual 6 month placement mark. Anyway, I found that my expectations were wrong. All the families waited on the 4^th floor. I don’t know if all the finalizations were handled by our same law office or not but we were just all there hanging out. I don’t know if the other families were confused about what was going on or what we should be doing or who we should be talking to, but I was. I also had a migraine, which was frustrating. We didn’t know what our lawyer looked like or where we were supposed to be to go over the paperwork or anything. Finally we found a lady that had a bunch of paperwork in her hands and Ryan asked her. She was the lady at the law office that we had been communicating with and she said they’d come to us in a little bit. So we continued waiting. I walked around to see all the other kids – I was happy for their families and wanted to see who else was going to be celebrating. I also was checking to see if there were any other kids as cute as Abby – there weren’t :). We decided that since Abby was presently happy to get some pictures, so we did that. I showed Heather how to use our video camera so she could video our finalization.

After we’d been there nearly an hour a guy finally came and introduced himself as being from the law firm and showed us to a room to go over our paperwork. There was an intern in the room and we were asked if it would be okay if she asked the questions during the actual finalization. He had us read over the final adoption decree again to make sure there were no mistakes and then they read us the questions we would be asked in court. We were told that for expediency most of the questions would only be asked of Ryan but they would go for me as well. The final question asks whether you will be the child’s mom forever, and my eyes got all teary when they read it. We were kind of rushed in this meeting because the judge was finally ready but they did tell us that we were one of the last of the 16 families, so we knew it would be a while until our finalization.

A minute or two later we all – all 16 families – went into the court room.  My family got in there pretty quickly so we had front row seats. The judge was already in there and his bench was lined with tons of stuffed animals. Mostly bears but other animals as well. They told us the judges name and I think he said a few things and then he called the first family to come forward. They did but told him that some of their family was still on the way so asked if they could wait. I wanted to change places with them, but no luck. He called the next family up. First, everyone gets sworn in – everyone that is attending with you raises their right hand and is asked if they will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth – just like on TV. Then the lawyer starts asking the father the list of questions. The mom gets asked 2. Then they sometimes asked the rest of the family some questions – like asking the adults if they support the adoption, if they will babysit any time, etc. They asked the older siblings if they will be good big brothers/sisters, love the baby, share toys, etc. After all the questions the judge declares the adoption finalized.  Then the families would go up by the judge to get their picture taken. Then each kid got to pick an animal, including older siblings. This one little boy took a long time because he wanted to get matching ones for his younger brother and himself, so cute. While we were waiting we were trying to decide which one we would pick. Abby’s room is decorated with animals but we already have several bears and monkeys, so we wanted something different. The cutest was this little lamb, which is what we were thinking we would get. We kept watching to see if it would get taken before our turn.  Most of the finalizations were for younger kids but I think there were 2 older boys and some international adoptions so they were probably at least a year old.

We were the 15^th family, so we watched lots of finalizations. It took a while. Every time I heard the question about being the parent forever I got teary-eyed. Abby did well but got hungry and tired. I wrapped her up and fed her and she slept for a while. She probably would have slept through our whole finalization but we decided to unwrap her a couple minutes before so she could be awake.

And then it was finally our turn. Abby did fantastic – she was happy and smiley through the whole thing. I’ve watched the video so I could record exactly what was said. It was a little staticy and sometimes there was some mumbling so I have had to guess on some of it, but this is what I got:

Judge: And Ryan?

Ryan: Yes.

Judge: and Amanda?

Amanda: Yes.

Judge: Where you all from?

Ryan: We live in Burleson.

Judge: Burleson? Okay. I’m gonna ask you all to testify. Raise your right hand.  Do you solemnly swear or affirm that the testimony you give for this cause will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Ryan and Amanda and everyone else: Yes

Judge: You may proceed.

Lawyer: Would you please state your name?

Ryan: Ryan Frank Colby

Lawyer: Is this your wife standing next to you?

           Ryan: Yes

Lawyer: And do you presently consider your marriage to be a stable one?

Ryan: Yes

Lawyer:  And what is the name of the little girl you have chosen to adopt?

Ryan: Abigail Marie Colby

Lawyer: Has she resided with you and your wife for the last six months?

Ryan: No

Lawyer: And do you understand that the six month residency requirement is for your protection?

Ryan: Yes

Lawyer: And are you asking the court to waive that requirement today?

Ryan: Yes

Lawyer: Have you reviewed this court’s adoption decree to verify that it is correct?

Ryan: Yes

Lawyer: And has she been seen by a physician of your choice and are you and your physician satisfied with her physical, mental, and emotional health?

Ryan: Yes

Lawyer:  And do you understand that your previous obligation to her has been primarily a moral one and by appearing here today you are asking the court to grant you all the rights and duties of being her parent as if she was born to you?

Ryan: Yes

Lawyer: And do you promise to love her forever, take care of her forever, and be her father forever?

Ryan: Yes

Lawyer: Have you heard your husband’s testimony?

Amanda: Yes

Lawyer: If I were to ask you the same questions would they be substantially the same?

Amanda: Yes

Lawyer:  And do you promise to be her mother forever, take care of her forever and love her forever?

Amanda: mouthed Yes

Lawyer: And how about all you all?

Everyone: Yes

Lawyer:  Judge.

Judge: Any further questions?

Lawyer: No

           Judge: I will honor this decree and I will grant this adoption and I will order the child’s name changed to Abigail Marie Colby

Everyone: claps

I got emotional, especially when it was my turn to answer the questions. When I was asked if I would love and care for Abby forever I couldn’t speak so I just had to mouth the word yes. I love that they said that we would have the rights and responsibilities for Abby “as if she had been born to us”. And I will gladly be her mom FOREVER!  

When we went up to get our picture with the judge he told us multiple times what a cute kid Abby is and that we are lucky – I totally agree! I didn’t hear him comment on the cuteness of any of the other kids. After our picture we went down to pick out animal. There was this barn that had a bull inside – the bull is not as cute as the sheep but we decided Abby would have more fun playing with it since she could also put other animals in the barn, so that is what we got. Abby seems to like it. :) 

They had cookies and punch for us, which we got, and then we were done. We were a family. We were Abby’s parents and no one could take her from us. We will be getting a new birth certificate that has her name as Abigail Marie Colby and us as her parents – you won’t be able to tell from looking at it that she is adopted. Legally everything is now as if she had been born to us. I wouldn’t say that I ever really feared Abby would get taken from us after Cheyenne relinquished her rights, but it wasn’t a completely secure feeling. When we went out of town we had to let LDS Family Services know. Legally we were not Abby’s parents – our paperwork actually said we didn’t have a parental role (who was it that was getting up with her in the middle of the night?) I don’t know what might have caused them to take her away. What if we had accidentally left her in the car when running into the store, or what if she'd grabbed my curling iron and been badly burned, or what if Ryan or I had died? Would any of those things cause them to take her from us? I know kids can be taken away from their parents, but now that her adoption is finalized I feel more secure that I will always get to be her mom. I’m finding it hard to explain how this all felt, I am not finding adequate words, but the main thing is I feel more comfortable now, more at peace, and some how this has led to an increase in love for Abby. I already loved her, felt that I loved her as much as any parent loves their child, but having the security that I get to be her mom forever makes me feel a greater attachment I guess. I love my little Abby! We spent the rest of the day just hanging out with family, which I loved.

Saturday we took it easy in the morning. Ryan took Penny on a walk. I gave Abby a bath and put her down for a morning nap. No one came over in the morning. 

Ryan and I had to be to the temple an hour early so everyone staying with us also went then. We had hoped that Abby would sleep in the car on the way there but no luck – she just got tired. I knew she was tired and that she is not very happy when she gets super tired so I wrapped her up and gave her to my family when we got there so we could go into the temple. I wanted them to keep her outside because she is generally happier outside and I knew it would only take a few minutes to get her dressed. I wanted her to be happy and if possible, have a nap before the sealing. But when our ordinance guide met us we were told we should take Abby to the children’s waiting room right away so we could fill out the paper work there. So we went and got her and my family and took them down there and filled out the paper work. Then we went to records verification and then went to get dressed.

I had wanted to go back to the children’s waiting room after I got dressed to help make sure Abby was doing okay but I was led to the celestial room. I waited there for about 10 or 15 minutes and then Ryan joined me and together we waited another 15 or 20 minutes. It was nice being in there but I was worried about Abby. Eventually we were led to the sealing room. Our family was all there (except our moms) and a few friends had also come: Bishop Humphries, Julieanne Hanson, Angie Alexander, Lyndsie Wilson, and Stephen and Rachel Harris. After we sat down we were asked where Ryan’s mom was, but we didn’t know. Then we heard Abby crying (she has the loudest cry in the world and I am sure the whole temple heard it) and saw her being carried by my mom and accompanied by Janet (Ryan's mom.). (My mom and sisters had gotten Abby ready while we were away. She did not appreciate getting dressed, she wanted to keep jumping in the jumper. But she was wearing a dress that was my mom’s as a baby as her slip and the dress my Grandma had crocheted for my children. Despite her crying, she looked beautiful. She was also wearing the necklace, ring, and bracelet from the day before as well as a white bow in her hair.)

I wanted to take Abby and calm her down but the sealer said it would be fine and asked us to kneel at the alter. My mom had brought her bottle and was trying to calm her down with it but it wasn’t working and the sealer (President Beseleever) wanted to proceed. He said crying wasn’t a problem, he would just talk louder. Janet held her at the altar. Ryan and were both so focused on Abby and wanting her to stop crying, wanting her to be happy (she was crying these huge tears and it was just sad) that neither of us did a good job paying attention to the sealing. All of a sudden it was over. I took her and held her and after a minute or two Ryan and I had her calmed down.

But it had all happened so fast. From the time we were brought from the celestial room to the time people were coming through and congratulating us was only a few minutes. The sealing was what we had most looked forward too, and it was a blur. Sometimes you have in your mind the way something will be, but it doesn’t always work out. I had in my mind being brought into the sealing room, it being filled with our friends and family, President Beseleever saying some things about our friendship with him and about the great day that it was, and then Abby coming in and being happy and smiley and then her just sitting there while we listened to the sealing, and being filled with emotion when he said “as though you had been born”  - I get emotional just thinking about those words, I had been emotional thinking about them in the celestial room. But that is not how it worked out.

I enjoyed hugging everyone after. Stephen and Rachel told me how perfect it was that Abby cried, how much they enjoyed hearing a baby in the temple. But after it was all done I felt disappointed rather than filled with joy as I had planned, and Ryan did too. Not so much disappointed in Abby, but disappointed in myself that I had let myself be so distracted by her crying that I didn’t pay attention to the sealing. And disappointed I hadn’t handled things differently. If I were to do it over again there are many things I would do different. I would have not had her taken to the children’s waiting room right away. I would have gone to be with her to make sure she was okay after I got dressed. I would have asked the sealer to wait while I calmed her before the actual ordinance.  And most importantly, I would have done a better job listening. But hindsight is 20/20 and maybe none of those things would have changed anything. Looking back on it now I know my wedding day was also a blur (as was the day I was endowed). I was so focused on Ryan during our sealing that I didn’t hear what was said. That is the great thing about the temple. By doing vicarious ordinances you can hear the prayers and promised blessings as much as you would like. And the fact that Ryan and I were both focused on Abby is not a bad thing. She is our daughter and when she is sad it hurts us. We know basically what is said in the sealing, we didn’t need to focus on it. We would have loved for her to be happy during it, but she is a baby and babies cry. Things won’t always go as we would like, and that is okay. My family told me that at the moment he said that she was sealed to us she actually paused her crying for a moment – and I kind of remember that. I actually had a dream a day or two before our weekend started that it would end up as a blur to me. I can’t remember for sure if in the dream it was the finalization or the sealing was a blur – I think it was actually finalization – but in it I arrived and I left, but I couldn’t remember anything in between. Maybe that was to prepare me. Anyway, the sealing wasn’t quite as I imagined it being but as time has past that bothers me less. Having her sealed to us also increased my feeling of security, or peace. Before this weekend I didn't know what would happen if Abby had passed away. If she died before finalization would we have been able to have her sealed to us? And if not, who could she have been sealed to? I love knowing she will be our daughter forever, for eternity!

After we got changed we found that Janet was feeding Abby and she had fallen asleep. She was so tired. She slept through the beginning of our pictures, totally peacefully. Then I accidently woke her up trying to get my family’s attention. She woke up happy and was great for the rest of the pictures. After pictures we all went out to eat at Blue Mesa Grill, then all my family came over to our house and we just hung out for the rest of the day.

Sunday morning we did some cooking but again mostly took it easy in the morning. After my family checked out of their hotels they came over for appetizers (food for the day was Earl Thanksgiving – scaled down quite a bit) and so did Ryan’s parents and Heather. Sophie and Mary painted her toe nails for the first time, so cute! We ate for a little while then headed to church. Just before going into the building I put Abby’s dress that Jenny crocheted on her. We were also wearing bracelets that matched the one I made for Cheyenne and she had a white crocheted flower in her hair. She is the cutest baby ever. Ryan had to do some high council stuff and I had to do some Primary stuff before the meeting so we were both super busy leading up to Sacrament. We had wanted to get there early enough to reserve some benches toward the front of the chapel for our friends and family, but that didn’t work out so people were scattered throughout. Ryan and I had talked about who to have in the circle during the blessing and decided it was too hard to pick and choose between friends so he just had family and the bishop – so both our dads, Chris, Mark, and Bishop Humphries. Our stake president has been teaching the high council and other stake leaders that a baby blessing is different from other blessings in that in other blessings you are addressing the person being blessed but in a baby blessing you are addressing the Lord throughout and so instead of pronouncing a blessing you are requesting a blessing. So Ryan followed that instruction. In the blessing he asked that Abby be healthy, that she know the love of her family (both biological and adoptive) and know the sacrifices that have been made for her, that she understand her divine nature and individual worth, that she have a happy disposition, and that she marry in the temple and be a righteous mother.

Cheyenne was sitting next to me and was emotional throughout the blessing but especially as Ryan talked about her birth family and the sacrifices made for her. I got especially emotional when he talked about her being a mother. I do hope that all those blessings will be realized. She is such an amazing little person!

After the blessing our family all came over for dinner. We had turkey, ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, creamed corn, desserts, and I can’t remember what else, but it was good and everyone was able to eat all they wanted. Cheyenne also came over after a while and she fit right in with everyone, just like one of the family. At least that is how it felt to me. A little at a time people had to leave to catch their flights. My parents, Maggi, Jenny, Ryan, Abby, Penny, and I had a relaxing evening. We played with Abby on the floor and just talked.

 The men in the circle for Abby's blessing - Mark, Christopher, Ryan, Frank, Lawrence

 Jenny, who made Abby's dress

It was a great weekend. Even with things not going the idealized way I had planned it was still one of the greatest weekends of my life. I love knowing that Abby is sealed to us forever. That in the eyes of God and the land that it was just as though she was born to us. She is our daughter in every important way. We may not have given her the genes she started out with, but we will influence what genes are expressed. No one can take her from us – she is ours for eternity. I don’t know if people who bare their own children can understand what it feels like to have these things now, but it is amazing. I love my little girl, I love my daughter, I am so grateful to be her mom!